I had the great privilege last night of hearing one of Matt's 12th grade students give a presentation about being adopted. Her Birth mother sat on her left and her Mom sat on her right. She spoke about her own experiences and conflicts and she asked some very serious questions of the women that can both, in one sense or the other, claim her.
I have to admit that I cried through a lot of it. It was tense, it was moving, it was honest and at times surreal. But I also have to admit to having learned a lot about me.
I saw myself in the Mom's role and I empathized with her points of view and difficulty relinquishing control. I simply doubt my ability to do it with that much grace.
I also learned from this incredible threesome that honesty is the best gift a child can get.
I knew this from living with and loving Maris and Seth. The foundation of truth telling is one of the things that makes us a functioning blended family.
It re-confirmed to Matt and I that when and where ever we are blessed with our next child we will do anything in our power to keep them connected to their roots.
A child can love two cultures, two countries, two pasts and as I saw last night, two mothers. I hope to be brave enough one day to let my little one grow in the knowledge and love of all of the people that make their life a possibility.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
One Amazing Student
Posted by The Ravenstahls at 3:24 PM
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2 comments:
That sounds like it was amazing. I agree re honesty, I want our son to know everything - personally, I feel it must be essential to finding a sense of peace with his life, although I can't speak from the experience of being adopted obviously.
Cindy
Wow! What an amazing experience. I've never understood the fear some adoptive families have of birth families. This, once again, proves that fear is pointless.
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