Approaching end of Home Study

So tomorrow my very dear friend Ariana (seen here masterfully carving my wedding cake that was shaped like a pig on a bale of hay, all the while not complaining about the hideous sunflower print maid of honor frock and cowboy boots, pigtails or fun but extremely not grown-up ho-down themed wedding) arrives from Down South. She has one of those super cool government type jobs that leads her to the DC area from time to time and she and her cat, the infamous Kitmo, typically make our pad their base camp.

No idea why my three slobbering hounds all love this little black and white kitty... I think it is because she has mad street cred for being able to kick their doggie butts from one end of the house to the other. The only time anyone dared to try and be the boss of her, he came away with a sore, scratched nose... but normally there is no drama. Just extremely cute dog/cat nap pics.

Her arrival time is PERFECT because the only thing we need to do to finish our home study is to have the in-person interview of our primary reference. So within a week or two depending on schedules, we will be done with the homestudy.

I have to admit that my hell for leather pace has broken down in regards to the homestudy. I have taken my sweet time with many things because I know that the second it is done, then the last little tiny bit of control we have over the process is gone, and we sit in the void called "waiting" and we bloody well wait.

Here is a list of things that freak me out that we will be waiting for:

1. We wait for someone to connect with us either through an agency or personal contact who believes that we are the right family for her child... this completely and utterly blows my mind. This is, by far, the longest part of the wait and the bit that makes us wait to do other things like paint the nursery, buy cool baby stuff, or take an over seas vacation for fear of missing "the call." (Not like we will have much extra travel dosh in a year that we are not getting raises because of the county budget shortfall, and while we are saving all of our pennies for this blessed, adored... and possibly obsessed over baby)

Our overseas waiting friends get a very approximate wait time for their referral. At last check our social worker said we could expect 2 weeks to 3 years or anything in between... did I mention I LOVE not knowing things?!? yikes.

2. We wait to see if she/they really mean it... all the way through the termination of rights period. At least 2 weeks of which we are hypothetically housing, feeding, cuddling and loving a baby. I can not wrap my mind around how nerve wracking this could be.

3. We may possibly have to wait for paternal rights to expire on a different time line if there is an unknown birth father. More nail biting ensues.

I don't mean to focus solely on the negative. Holy cow! The benefits are astronomically greater than the risks. I know this with everything that I am, but I am also just a bit scared of the unknown. I think that is a pretty human response to this much unknown, actually. Thus, I blog. But really, handing over that last scrap of paper and becoming official... That feels like a giant, blind leap into the unknown.

So I am very glad that my near-sister is coming to stay for the next couple of months because I am about to turn into a basket case and I'm pretty sure Matt doesn't want to have to fill the role of in-house therapist all by himself!