Back to School Night

Last night was back to school night for my youngest step-son. I was supposed to be in grad school and wasn't going to attend... actually, I have never been to one, feeling that Matt and Laura probably have this covered, but I got let out early, and Matt asked me to come.

I have to say that even though Laura has never made me feel like a trespasser with her children, I did feel like a bit of a heel walking in... I sometimes wonder how I would feel if I was a bio-mom who had to live a life that involved a step mom. I don't know if I would be as welcoming as she is.

Still, I walked in and sat down with Laura, Matt and Seth's best bud's dad, Stan.

I get so paranoid at after school events that involve parents. I always feel like I am an instantly recognizably step-parent and that all the other "real moms" must instantly dislike me... silly, I know. No one has ever been mean to me or made me feel unwelcome outside of my own head.

So we went through the night as a foursome until Stan headed to his kid's room and the three of us went to Seth's room.

Laura signed up for conferences. I won't go, I really do feel like this is for the two of them and that I can handle a supporting role better. After sign up, we all three of us crowded around the desk of our fifth grader and read some of his poetry and the goals he had set for his year. He has such an amazing sense of humor and discipline!!

We listened to the teacher talk and I felt really proud of Seth as she outlined her expectations and I became convinced that he was up for the challenge. Laura and Matt included me effortlessly into this yearly ritual and I loved it. I feel honored to be part of such a family and proud to be pitching in to raise such a great guy. I am looking forward to getting to Maris's back to school night now.

We have lived together for a long time and been an official family for more than a year, and it feels more and more like a genuine family every day. I have always loved the kids, like I love all cute funny little people, but watching them grow for the last four years that has deepened into something much more.

I never thought that being married or not would affect the bond I have with the kids, but I can see now that it has given them a sense of permanence and trust that has strengthened our relationship in many positive ways.

I know it sounds all gooey and sunshiney... believe me there have been many hurt feelings, frustrations and dark days. The big picture, however, is a family life FULL of people that mean a lot to me. I couldn't imagine my life without them.